Go on let’s just say the word…………. Sex! If we keep on saying it, it’s not too difficult……….sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. You may be saying right now that you don’t have any problem calling the act by its name at all, but there you are, that’s euphemism No.1 straight away! We all have sex, well almost all, even some of those who pretend that they don’t - so why are there so many other words and phrases in not just the English language but in every language and in every country in the world, from Timbuktu in Mali to Wagga Wagga in Australia, instead of just calling it what it is…..SEX!? Euphemisms that are accurate, funny, make no sense at all, historical, definitely Shakespearean, it just seems as if there is no end to the human imagination for finding parallels with everyday objects and activities and the sexual act. It seems as if ever since people have been having sex, they’ve been calling it something else.
Shakespeare coined the phrase "the beast with two backs" a term that is extremely expressive and quite literal, but over the years it has lost favour. Of the hundreds or even thousands of euphemisms in modern usage they range from the coy, such as “sleeping together” which is quite definitely NOT what is going on and if you are sleeping then there is almost certainly no sex current; the "How's your father?" of the older generation, alongside all of the other nudge, nudge or wink, wink style, in contrast to the direct, such as “Getting your rocks off” or “Body mingling”.
Comparisons between sex and cars has been long standing, as soon as man heard an engine revving up other ideas he found comparable sprung into his mind; most women would agree that the request “can I park my car in your garage?” is not absolutely erotic or entirely appealing and “Checking the oil” and “Testing the suspension” are much of the same calibre. This is surely talk between the boys, the legends told in the pub between the lads who are larging it up and giving their sexual encounters a blasé flavour of the racy and of the casual conquest.
Naturally music and dancing are both often a preamble to sex and it is easy to see where phrases such as “Mattress dancing” or “Doing the no pants dance” come from; especially when things have got up close and personal on the dance floor, it is probably time for some “Horizontal refreshment”.
Whatever the most popular phrase of the day may be, whether you are shaking the sheets, or taking a turn at Bushy Park, getting laid is fun, there is no substitute, it is the number one choice of adult diversions in any of its various forms…………. So go on………………….Get laid!!